


Now Is The Start

by notabadday



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-12
Updated: 2015-04-12
Packaged: 2018-03-22 13:35:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3730864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notabadday/pseuds/notabadday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place after 3x19 or, you could say, <i>because</i> of 3x19. Casey and Dawson face the repercussions of an impulsive decision. </p><p>Written for Charlie and Tamara - may this enrich your current CF spiral.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Now Is The Start

**Author's Note:**

> While it would be OOC for the characters to use last names in their dialogue, I find it unnatural to use their first names in the prose (because I think of them as Dawson/Casey) so excuse any confusion that comes from the inconsistency between prose and dialogue re: Dawson/Casey, Matt/Gabby.

Dawson paced, her brow furrowed and her stride seeming purposeful until she turned on her heels and continued back and forth, exhausting the same strip of carpet. The pregnancy test, untouched, sat on the end of the kitchen table next to a near-empty bottle of water. She refused to look up at it, determinedly looking at the ground as she wore it down.

She could have started the ball rolling. She didn't need Casey's help peeing. Other than one particularly amusing incident involving a dramatic fall onto a layer cake someone had brought to the firehouse, he had never had any direct effect on Dawson's bladder control. But she had decided that for those agonising three minutes, she didn't want to be alone. She refused to sit waiting for an answer, while he just got to stroll on in after the verdict. So, she waited until he arrived.

"Hey," she said, slow and reluctant, when she greeted him in the doorway. "I haven't... yet."

As he followed her inside, he saw the test waiting on the table. He'd never seen a pregnancy test look like that before, one that might be about to tell him he'll be a father, so big and imposing, about to burst from its box like a jack. He behaved nervously around it, bracing himself for the small white stick's inevitable emergence. He'd seen plenty of pregnancy tests, on the store shelves or on TV, but this was the first one that might be able to change his life.

"How do you feel?" he asked cautiously. Perhaps she could explain his own emotional state to him.

"Honestly? I don't know. Numb, I guess."

He gave a small nod.

"So I should just..." Dawson said, with forced momentum, picking up the test kit. Again he nodded, but this time more firmly. He then watched as she opened the box, expectantly following her hands as they drew out. She held it, but looked to Casey for a moment - a long, indulgent moment because, damn, she had forgotten what it was like to just, for a second, be locked inside of that gaze. Suddenly, it was clear how they'd gotten into this situation in the first place.

Dawson took a final swig from the water bottle, and then marched off to her bathroom.

When she came back, Casey was exactly where he had been when she left. "I'm terrified," she said, laughing a little.

Casey's tight expression moved to a smile. "Me too." After a pause, he continued: "I will be there for you every step of the way, you know? In whatever capacity you need me to be. If it comes back positive, I'm here and I'll be ready for whatever you need."

Dawson walked over to him, fast but relaxed, falling against his chest in a hug.

After a moment, Casey made an effort to lighten the mood. "What do you think we should name it? How about Mouch?"

"I'm gonna vomit," she protested, pushing against him lightly.

"Do you think that's morning sickness or-?"

She gave him an elbow for that. "Too soon, buddy, too soon."

He gave a dramatic sigh.

"God, this isn't how I pictured it, you know? I thought if this ever happened after a one night thing, it would be me and Shay, like panicked schoolgirls, with her messing around to distract us while we wait." Dawson backed away from Casey a little, brushing off a tear. "And then we'd pinky swear to always be there for each other and she'd tell me I wasn't going to be alone. She'd promise me we'd still go out for girls nights, that she'd use one of her many IOUs from Severide to make him babysit.

"And I thought if this ever happened with you that it wouldn't be a panic at all. I thought it would be hand-holding and excitement and me buying some dumb, "World's Best Dad" t-shirt to give you when it comes out positive. I thought you'd be so happy, you wouldn't be able to keep it in and everyone would guess well before time because," she paused, giving a gentle shrug of her shoulders, "it would just be written on your face. I never thought, if it was you, that it would be even the smallest bit complicated."

Before Casey could respond, or correct her, the timer started ringing in the bathroom. As though awoken from a trance, Dawson jolted into action and headed back to get the pregnancy test. Casey didn't know whether to follow her or not, but sensed that it would be better to give her space. When he saw her reappear in the doorway, looking down at the result and biting her lip, his instinct was to step forward so she could register his urgency.

At the moment she looked up at him, a tear dropped suddenly down her cheek. She took a deep breath, her chest rising as she struggled to take in all the air she was going to need for this one, and said: "Not pregnant."

While Dawson was not pregnant, the ensuing pause there was. Casey said nothing. For a really long time. His expression gave nothing away as Dawson studied its every crease.

"Matt?"

He looked to the floor.

"Right now, I really need you to tell me this was for the best. I really need you to tell me this is good news," Dawson confessed, desperately trying to gauge Casey's reaction as his head lifted to reveal a look of surprise. "I think I wanted it to be positive. I didn't realize until I saw the result but I just... I really wanted us to be a family. Is that crazy? I mean, we're not even together but..."

"You said this wasn't how you pictured it. Surely, you gotta know by now, the only clear thing I picture when I think about this is you." Casey left a pause, his words hanging in the air. "I can't convince you this is good news; I'm fighting to convince myself. But, Gabby, if it's just about family, you'll always be family to me. You are the love of my life," he explained, as though it went without saying, as though it had always been and always would be.

"What are we doing?" she shook her head and placed the pregnancy test back on the table. All of the meaning it was once imbued with had been drained. There was no sense of possibility weighing on their shoulders now, no maybe baby between them; it was only Dawson and Casey.

"Gabby?"

"I mean, what are we doing?" She smiled at him and began narrowing the gap between them. "Let's get married. Let's just do it. I don't care what happens as long as I'm with you when it does."

"Is this just a reaction to the test?" Casey asked, caution holding back his own enthusiasm.

"We were both disappointed. For once, we both wanted the same thing at the same time. We wanted the same thing for the rest of our lives. Why can't this moment be the start of the rest of our lives? I just want to be with you, more than anything."

Casey smiled, dumb and charming and childlike. He leaned down with a kiss full of passionate excitement. His hands reached around Dawson, one on her back and the other on her ass as he lifted her off the ground.

"Is that a yes?" Dawson asked, light and breathy.

He moved his forehead against hers and gave a quiet but firm, "Yes. Absolutely, yes." They kissed again, her hands in his hair, and he began to carry her towards her bedroom. The endgame was clear to both of them by now.

"We could get married in secret, just invite Antonio," Dawson suggested, her eyes closed as Casey multitasked avoiding household obstacles and kissing her neck. Eventually, they reached her bedroom and Dawson pulled up his t-shirt, throwing it to the floor before he lowered them onto the bed.

As Casey caught his breath, leaning over Dawson and, for the first time, seeing the sincere determination in her eyes, he asked, "Are we really doing this?"

"I'm in. Are you?"

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is always much appreciated.


End file.
